Monday, March 03, 2008

Nothing perfect about this Perfect Stranger

Did you ever see a movie so bad that it actually made you hate movies for the next month? I have a feeling that is what I will be suffering after spending Sunday night watching the film Perfect Stranger with Bruce Willis and Halle Berry.

When I say Sunday night...I actually mean Sunday afternoon and Sunday night. Not that it is a long movie...I just needed a break after about half an hour because the film was just so horrible.

Before I get into the film...let's talk about Halle Berry. Is there an actress with worse movie choices than her? Is there a more overrated actress on the planet than her?

Looking at her filmography...she has done so many bad films that I had actually forgotten some. She was in The Flintstones! We all know about the disaster Catwoman was. A film that tanked so badly that the plans for a spin off of her character "Jinx Johnson" from the James Bond film Die Another Day were nixed.

Top 5 Worst Halle Berry Films
1. Perfect Stranger
2. The Flintstones
3. The Rich Man's Wife
4. Gothika
5. Swordfish

Getting back to Perfect Stranger...I knew going in this was going to be a bad film. The trailer for the film is so confusing, you really don't know what the film is about. And after seeing the movie, I realize this is the most manipulative trailer I have ever seen. There are parts edited to make it look like it is part of one scene which aren't even close to being true.

The first problem with the film is the first 20 minutes. Berry plays an investigative journalist and the writer of the film clearly has no concept of how journalism works. I never understand this, films that get the art of journalism wrong. Do the writers/producers/directs not understand that these films are seen and written about BY film critics who also happen to be known as JOURNALISTS! If you want a guarantee that your film is going to be trashed by the critics...get journalism wrong...films critics will lambaste you.

The biggest problem with the film is the last 20 minutes. Basically one of 5 people could be the killer. And the choice of the killer is so arbitrary it is like the name was picked out of a hat. There is then a 10 minute long voiceover by one of the characters explaining how this person was the killer. The obvious reason for this voiceover is to explain why that person was the killer because no intelligent thinking audience member would believe it.

And the final scene...the height of ridiculousness...the killer has to kill the only other person who knows the truth. And after that person is killed, the final shot is of a heretofore unseen neighbour who has obviously witnessed the whole thing. Like they are setting up a sequel or something.

The problem is that I have reviewed this film like it's a "so bad it's good" type of thing. really IS that bad. Don't worry, I have taken steps as your faithful narrator to contact the Academy and demand they rescind Berry's Academy Award that she received for Monsters Ball. It is a little service I am happy to offer.



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