Why am I still watching House?

Here is every single episode in the history of House (apologies if I gave away the ending of an episode that you have yet to see).

9:00 An interesting scene unrelated to a hospital drama. Someone looks like they could be sick, so it is probably the other person in the scene. Either way, one of them will be "Patient Of The Week" (hereby known as POTW).

9:03 The opening credits, decent song by Massive Attack but it is the exact same credits since day 1 of this show. Have the producers not been watching the show? These credits prominently feature Jesse Spencer and Jennifer Morrison who play Dr. Robert Chase and Dr. Allison Cameron and those characters are in the show about as much as John Travolta was in Welcome Back Kotter after the second season. No love for the new actors Olivia Wilde, Peter Jacobson and Kal Penn?

9:05 First round table meeting of the doctors. Can you believe this hospital has this department of 5 doctors spending a week to help diagnose one patient? I believe the Princeton-Plainston Teaching Hospital may be the sole reason for the decline in the US economy.

9:08 Round table meeting ends with three possible theories. None will end up being the actual diagnosis as there are still 42 minutes left in the show. Dr. Eric Foreman (played by Omar Epps) will raise his right eyebrow for the first of three times in the episode.

9:12 Lead actor Hugh Laurie (who plays Dr. Gregory House) will have his first scene with the Head of Encology, Dr. James Wilson (played by Robert Sean Leanord). This scene hints to the real focus of the show, it isn't to diagonosis patients who have weird diseases that would only really occur on tv. It is non-sexual love story between Wilson and House. The sooner the show admits this, the sooner we can move on.

9:20 The first theory of what the patiant is sick with falls through. In their investigation of said theory, it causes another sympton which disproves their original diagnoses and sets the team off on two new theories. Foreman raises his right eyebrow for the second time in the episode.

9:21 House has a conversation with one of the doctors on his team to remind you that he is "the most complex character on televsion". He pretends to be a little sensitive or interesting and then by the end of the episode will still prove that he is a dick. Makes you wonder if there is actually a Human Resources department at this hospital that these other doctors can complain to. Must be the same inept HR departments that you see at Dunder Mifflin in the show The Office and CTU on the show 24.

9:32 Some wacky, crazy procedure is attempted on the POTW in order to save them. Dr. House's boss Dr. Lisa Cuddy (played by Lisa Edelstein) is not happy about the procedure so she has a yelling fit with Dr. House in her office. He deflects by mentioning something sexual or embarrasing about her.

9:41 A conversation occurs that will hint to the ending of that episode. Someone could say something offhand talking about playing golf in the mountains of Arizona and only using their irons or that a certain character only wears the colour blue...but this conversation will set in motion the correct theory of what disease the POTW has.

9:47 Things are looking bleak for the POTW. They are probably going to die or at least have a terminal disease. And as an audience member, you see the time, they are cutting things close...CSI Miami starts in 13 minutes.

9:51 House remembers that offhand topic earlier...he has figured out what is wrong with the patient. That person just has something rather benign that they are sick with...they are not going to die. Foreman raises his right eyebrow for a third time, possibly with a little head shake added.

9:56 Patient is dismissed. And Dr. House has one more scene to make you like him enough to watch next week. Perhaps he will be home alone playing guitar, or have something nice to say to one of the doctors on his team, or to either one of his pseudo life partners Dr. Wilson or Dr. Cuddy.

There! I have saved you an hour of your life every week. Simply make your cheques payable to Your Faithful Narrator.

Top 5 acting performances on US televison by British Actors.
1. Idris Elba as Russell "Stringer" Bell (The Wire)
2. Damian Lewis as Charlie Crews (Life)
3. Hugh Laurie as Gregory House (House)
4. Marianne Jean-Baptiste as Vivian Johnson (Without A Trace)
5. Dominic West as Jimmy McNulty (The Wire)

My new favourite comedic actor

I have always been aware of Nathan Fillion. But his resume had been filled with things I've never watched. The first time I ever heard of him was when he was in a sci-fi series called Firefly, the follow up film to Firefly, Serenity. Watch this trailer...he is the heroe and there is something honest, tough and self depricating about him.

His career has also included appearances on One Life To Live, Desperate Housewives and a short lived FOX series called Drive.

But this past summer has been the "Summer of Nathan Fillion". It started with the direct-to-internet series of shorts called Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Check out the trailer below. The series itself can be found throughout the internet include youtube, Itunes and Hula. It also features Neil Patrick Harris and has some pretty good music.





The latest short to feature Fillion is a new series by director James Gunn entitled PG Porn. Basically, all the stuff you like from porn except the sex. It will be a series of shorts featuring a real actor and a porn actress. I wouldn't quite say it is safe to look at when you are work...things are hinted at but there is no nudity. And Fillion's performance may be the funniest thing ever in porn.

Nailing Your Wife | Girls | SPIKE.com

Top 5 Porn Actresses

1. Really, are you still reading expecting a list? Please, my mother reads this blog.

Mad Men Moments

To get me back into writing on this blog again, I thought I would briefly talk about my current favourite show on television called Mad Men. If you are not aware, it is currently in its second season on AMC. That's right, AMC. A channel you probably only watch for old movies.

Mad Men takes places during the early 60s inside an advertising agency called Sterling Cooper. It provides interesting insight into what was going on in the advertising world at that time with the smoking, drinking and blatant sexism that prevailed at the time. It also provides an interesting comparison to what is going on in the world today.

Mad Men was created by Matthew Weiner who used to be one of the writers and producer of the hugely successful show The Sopranos. He had actually written it prior to working on the Sopranos. Soprano creator David Chase actually hired him based on the script he wrote for what would end up being the pilot for the Mad Men.

After the Sopranos ended its run, Weiner offered the show to HBO. Despite needing a new hit how with no Sopranos and no more episodes of The Wire, they turned it down. Possibly due to the excessive smoking and alcohol. Showtime also turned it down so he offered it to AMC who made it their first original series. If you are a fan of the show, you probably already know this. Here is a list of the top 10 great moments from the series in the first season.


10. What kind of man are you? Don Draper sees there is a chance that the secret of who he really is could come out. In a cold sweat he runs to the arms of the woman he has been seeing on the side Rachel Menken. He asks her to drop everything in their lives and run away with him. As Rachel realizes Don is not suggesting a vacation but leaving their families to go start a life on their own, she comes to now what kind of person Don Draper really is. With tears in her eyes, she says the words "what kind of man are you" and those words cut like daggers through the heart of both Don and the audience.

9. Beatniks and the Man After spending the evening debating the importance of advertising, flashing back to his days growing up on a farm and smoking up with his girlfriend Midge Daniels and her beatnik friends, Don decides to leave their apartment. One of the beatniks, referring to the police outside, says "Man, you can't go out there!" Don looks at him, straightens his tie and says, "No YOU can't go out there". Walks out of the apartment, past a police officer arresting a neighbour, puts on his hat and calmly walks out.


8. Choo Choo Cha Cha Joan at her best. Offering advice to other women at Sterling Cooper and then seductively dancing with her old fling Paul Kinsey. Watch the look on her face as she sees her co-workers watch her dance.




7. Salvatore's big scene. One of my favourite charactors on the show is Salvatore Romano. He is clearly hiding or at pretending to ignore his homosexuality to be one of the boys at Sterling Cooper. He almost works as the show's comic relief as everything he says has a double meaning. But there was no comic relief when he met up with an executive from a cosmetic company. Over dinner and drinks, it becomes clear that the cosmetics exec is interested in more than good food and good company. To which Salvatore heartbreakingly replies "Are you joking?"




6. Shopping smackdown Betty Draper's neighbour Helen Bishop confronts Betty about her relationship with her yound son Glen. Like what Rachel said to Don later, "what kind of person are you?"





5. Helen Bishop tells it like it is During a birthday party, single mom Helen Bishop is talking to Carlton Hanson. Carlton offers to be of service to her and her child. He suggests if she ever needs him to play catch with her son or take him to the beach, he would be willing. Helen sees through Carlton's suggestion and hints at the fact that he is looking for a little something on the side. The look on Carlton's face as he says "I don't want you suggesting something I didn't say is priceless.



4. For Openers The very first scene of the show. It does a great job of simultaneously showing the period and explaining the main charactor Don Draper.





3. I Wish I Was Older In the first season's final episode, Betty finally opens up about all the things that she is upset about. The problem is that the person is her neighbours' 8 year old son. Drama had already occured earlier in the season when Betty gave the kid a lock of her hair. This led to the son's mother Helen to confront Betty while shopping. After verbally accosting Betty about her relationship with her son, Betty slapped her and walked out. How heartbreaking is it when Glen says at the end of this scene, "I don't know how long 20 minutes is."





2. Betty's Got A Gun After losing her chance at getting back into modeling. Don's wife Betty is just trying to forget it while doing some laundrey. Hearing the neighbours' pigeon's flying around outside, she grabs a BB gun, steps out the door and calmly with almost no emotion, just starts shooting at them.




1. And The Emmy Goes To... Maybe one of the greatest single scenes in the history of television. Listen to the speech Don Draper gives to the people from Kodak as an idea for the slide carousel. He isn't just talking to them, he is talking to himself about the importance of family. How John Hamm lost the Emmy for Best Actor to Bryan Cranston is one of the greatest award show mysteries ever.

The Gift That Keeps on Giving

Not that I have been paying attention this season, but since American Idol was doing Neil Diamond week, I decided to watch. Wanting to see these amateur singers taking on Neil Diamond's greatest hit would be a complete train wreck as Neil Diamond is one of those singers who makes it look easy but would be tough to sing like.

But instead of some 21 year old warbling to Love On The Rocks...we got the gift that keeps on giving in drunken (?) judge Paula Abdul. The singers took on a song each and the show decided to have the judges discuss how they all did the first time around. A confused and freaky haired Paula Abdul commented on one of the contestants two songs. When the audience started laughing and Randy Jackson was looking lost, they finally explained to Paula that, in fact, they had only done one song each. Enjoy the footage of a completely lost Paula Abdul trying to cover up.




This is not as good as her meltdown on a local FOX affiliate from a couple of years ago...that is still my favourite.



Sometimes I wonder whether Paula and FOX is in on the joke regarding her demeanor or not. Take a look at this commercial spoof featuring characters from another FOX show The Simpsons on American Idol. Take a look at Lisa Simpson's version of Paula Abdul.



And since it was Neil Diamond week on American Idol...here are the Top 5 covers of Neil Diamond songs.

1. Red Red Wine (UB40)
2. Kentucky Woman (Deep Purple)
3. I'm A Believer (The Monkees)
4. Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon (Urge Overkill)
5. Solitary Man (Johnny Cash)

If you are a Neil Diamond fan, you may be shocked to know he is NOT in the rock and roll hall of fame. That's right, one hit wonders like Percy Sledge and Gene Vincent are in, but Neil Diamond is not. There is currently a push to get him elected in. Feel free to sign the petition here.

It's A Kind Of Magic

I believe people can be put into two groups, you are either a fan of magic or you are indifferent to magic. Before this past Friday, I was definately in the former category. But on Friday night, I went to see David Copperfield. And somehow, I am still in that same category.

Don't get me wrong, I am fascinated with famed magician Harry Houdini but that is more about the strange details of his death that fascinated me more than anything. The rumoured death from punch actually appears to be true.

Anyway, the Copperfield show started with a large screen indicating all of the accolades Mr. Copperfield has won from being knighted in France to being named the top magician of the 20th Century (not sure who would have finished second, Doug Henning?)

Copperfield then showed a collection of clips from TVs and movies that reference himself. The funniest were clips from Conan O'Brien which were a parody of Copperfield complete with the hair and the intense state into the camera.



it was too bad he didn't include Copperfield's brief appearance during a cold open from an episode of Scrubs which I thought was pretty funny.



Copperfield is probably best known for his made-for-tv specials where he "made" the statue of liberty. I don't know, since it was on TV, I didn't find it all that dramatic.

There is also the time he "walked through" the wall of China. If you didn't see it, you are probably thinking about how he could have possibly done it. Well, there was a lot more to it, take a look.



A show called Trickbusters theorized on how this was possibly done. The show is pretty cheap but they do a credible job of explaining it, take a look.



I guess I should talk about the Copperfield show itself. It certainly was entertaining. He does a good job of being slick while not appearing too slick. The part that always gets me in magic shows is the use of the audience. I figure they are either hired for the show...or simply play along just for the thrill of being in the show. Even though, they really know what happened.

For instance, the show's finale involved Copperfield throwing out 13 giant beach balls into the audience. Who ever was holding it after the music stopped was to come on stage. 9 of these 13 people were then put into a box in the middle of the stage. A curtain surrounded the box and then "poof", they were gone. They then showed up at the back of the room. Obviously they were taken under the stage and around to the front. So they really know what happened. Why aren't they talking about it? Why arent they being interviewed? Why isn't there blogs written by these people?

I have to admit, as I was watching Copperfield speak to the female members of the audience, I thought back about this document I saw on the website TMZ. It detailed how his staff were to handle female audience members that Copperfield felt would be good for "future projects". Take a look, it is kind of creepy.

All in all, I was glad to have seen the show. It was something I could say I have done. I mean, he is the Michael Jordan of magic...but still. It isn't really magic. They are tricks designed to fool the audience using lights, angles and his team of assistants.

Top 5 Songs with the word Magic in the title
1. Magic Carpet Ride (Steppenwolf)
2. Magic Man (Heart)
3. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic (The Police)
4. Do You Believe In Magic (The Lovin' Spoonful)
5. That Old Black Magic (Louis Prime & Keely Smith version)

Enough is enough

So it all started with Sarah Silverman's video tribute to her boyfriend late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel called I'm F--cking Matt Damon. It was funny and cute.




After the Acadamy Awards on Sunday...Jimmy Kimmel broadcasted his response entitled I'm F--king Ben Affleck. Though it is funny and filled with crazy cameos...the swearing that is being beeped out is so prevelant, you can barely hear the song. But you have to love the We Are The World vibe to it.



And now others in Hollywood are jumping on the bandwagon. Stars Seth Rogan (you know him from Knocked Up and the 40 Year Old Virgin) and Elizabeth Banks (the lovely Beth from The 40 Year Old Virgin) have teamed up for a video called I'm F--king Seth Rogan. Seriously, enough IS enough. According to wikipedia, this was allegedly put together by director M. Night Shyamalan.



Rogan and Banks are currently filming a new Kevin Smith-directed opus entitled Zack & Miri Make A Porno. So really, as opposed to being a spoof, this really ends up being an early promo for this movie that is scheduled to be released later in 2008. Smith, who desperately needs a hit film as his last hit film was probably Dogma in 1999 certainly could use the advanced hype.

Top 5 Kevin Smith films
1. Clerks
(it is going to be a stretch to finish this list)
2. Chasing Amy
3. Mallrats
4. Dogma
5. Jersey Girl

My weekend...and other shenanigans

So it was Super Bowl weekend and time for Jayman's annual Super Bowl/Chili party. Unfortunately as all members of the Jayman clan were sick, the party was cancelled. I took the opportunity to watch a screener of the Academy Award nominated film Juno.

As a quick review, let me say simply that it is the funniest, most surprising and most heartfelt movie of the year. As most people know, it is about a spunky 16 year old girl who finds herself pregnant. Now picture the kind of scenes you would imagine in a film with that subject matter. Trust me, none of those scenes will actually go as you would imagine.

The script is the most surprising aspect. The characters of her father and step mother are not what you expect. They are played, against type, by JK Simmons (you know him from Oz and the Spiderman movies) and Allison Janney (you know her from The West Wing). It is the kind of movie that I wish I could watch again without remembering that I had seen it before.

Of course, this film is not for everyone. I love this really negative review from DVD Talk.

Interestingly enough, it is the the third of the 5 Best Picture nominees that I have seen this year (the others being No Country For Old Men and Michael Clayton). It is the first time since 1994 that I have seen that many of the Best Picture nominees prior to the Academy Awards. If you don't remember 1994, that was one of the best years for the Academy Awards in decades. The nominees for best picture were The Shawshank Redemption, Quiz Show, Pulp Fiction, Four Weddings And A Funeral and the eventual winner Forrest Gump.

Other things I watched on the weekend included this tribute that comedienne Sarah Silverman gave to her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel to commemorate the 5th anniversary of his talk show. She sung a song called I'm F--cking Matt Damon.



If you don't know, this is part of an ongoing fued between Matt Damon and Jimmy Kimmel. People magazine has outlined the details of this ongoing fued including clips.

Top 5 Matt Damon Films
1. The Bourne Identity
2. The Departed
3. Ocean's Eleven
4. The Talented Mr. Ripley
5. Saving Private Ryan

Anyway, these are things I did as opposed to watching the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, it means I missed some great pop culture moments like the new video by Paula Abdul that was aired during the game's pre-game hoopla...



Tom Petty believing it was still the 80s as his half time show set list included three songs from his 1989 solo album along with the band's big hit from their debut album from 1976. To make matters worse, he has been accused of lip synchinc during that show. Makes this quote of his from a 1978 Chicago Tribune interview a little more interesting...

"I just want us to stay honest, and keep making honest records. To me, an honest record is one that you feel the artist believes in, one in which the artist actually means what he's singing. A lot of people have an image that isn't really them. But I think kids know when that happens. They can tell when it's jive. I don't want to start slagging people and naming names, but everybody knows that rock and roll got very boring the last few years."

And finally, FOX is in trouble for using the Arcade Fire song No Cars Go during the pre-game broadcast. Oh, and apparently the heavily favoured Patriots lost to the Giants during the actual football game. It was buried there within the 14 hours of football programming this past sunday.

Well, I guess the good news is the writers strike looks to be over soon. Finally, it should give me something more to write about.

If a strike happens on TV, does anyone notice?

So I have to admit, the current writer's strike is really beginning to effect me. The problem with TV is that there is truly nothing ever on. Bruce Springsteen was right when he sang "57 channels and nothing's on". Of course, it's more like I have 300 channels and nothing is on.



Top 5 Bruce Springsteen post-Born In The USA songs.
1. Girls In Their Summer Clothes
2. Better Days
3. O Mary Don't You Weep No More
4. The Rising
5. Tunnel Of Love

(List had to be done as one of my co-workers criticized Springsteen for being irrelevant and simply living off past glories a la The Rolling Stones)

Anyway, getting back to the probs with TV, I truly believe that any time of the day or night, there is a CSI playing somewhere on cable. As well, at 6 pm, I could choose between CSI on Spike, CSI: Miami on A & E or CSI: New York on the History Channel. If this strike goes on much longer, that situation may get even worse.

The effect of this strike effects everything on TV. New shows such as Life and The Big Bang Theory put those shows in limbo. Their ratings were decent but not enough to guarantee a renewal for next season. With less than half of their written episodes actually being produced, there is no way that their networks can say whether they are good enough to be back for a second season.

A really funny show that actually has been around for years is Scrubs. Almost no one watches it, despite the quality of its writing. It has been around for 7 years and NBC had told them at the beginning of this season that it would be their last. However, only 11 of the planned 18 episodes have been written. As the strike goes on, it is looking increasingly probably that there won't be a real series finale. Ideas such as having the show be renewed for one more season or a straight-t0-DVD movie that will end the show correctly have been floated but nothing official has been annouced.

In some ways, the show 24 has been hit the hardest due to the strike. 8 of the season's 24 episodes have been produced. However, they are not going to be shown until the entire season can be aired continuously. Which means even if the strike ended today, the episodes would not start until the remaining episodes were at least started to be shot. To keep you interested in the show, here is a link to the unaired original pilot from . Okay, yes this is a joke but it is a pretty funny short dealing with how the show could have been had it been produced with the technology available in 1994.



The talkshows have been the most interesting reflection of this writers strike. The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Jimmy Kimmel Live, Late Show with David Letterman, The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson, The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, The Colbert Report have all started producing new shows in the last month. All except Letterman are doing them without their original writers. Letterman broke ranks and negotiated its own contract with the WGA which allows them to air new shows with their regular writers. The secondary spin of that is that a lot of actors are refusing to cross picket lines. Since there will be no picket lines around Letterman's show, he should have better guests. Despite that, Leno continues to beat Letterman in the ratings which begs the question, does the average TV viewer care about the strike? Have they even noticed?

One final thing, actors from the Law & Order franchises, Oz and Homicide have created a short dealing with how important writers are for cop shows. Take a look, it is pretty funny.

Kathy Griffin, The Devil

I never thought of myself as a fan of Kathy Griffin. She co-starred on the Brooke Shields show from the 90s called Suddenly Susan that I never watched. As well, she appeared in two Seinfeld episodes as Sally Weaver. Neither episode is among my faves. Apparently, she was in Pulp Fiction but I do not remember her in it at all.

Top 5 Most Memorable Performances from Pulp Fiction
1. Samuel L. Jackson
2. Bruce Willis
3. Ving Rhames
4. John Travolta
5. Eric Stoltz

But as we moved into the 21st century, she suddenly became very funny to me. She has a psuedo reality show called My Life On The D-List which she makes fun of herself struggling to continue to be a name in Hollywood.

Her persona became one where she essentially told it like it was without caring about the Hollywood phoniness. Her show showed her at her best (hosting award shows, going to parties) and her worst (her divorce, the death of her father). For a reality show, it felt honest.

So you are saying to yourself, why am i writing about her? Well, her show My Life On The D-List won Outstanding Reality Show during this past weekend's Emmy Awards.

In her acceptance speech, she said the following.

"A lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus. Suck it, Jesus. This award is my god now."

Backstage, she still stood by that rather tongue-in-cheek speech by saying, "I hope I offended some people. I didn't want to win the Emmy for nothing."

Well, it worked. The Catholic League is completely enraged by her comments. Catholic League President Bill Donahue has asked TV academy president Dick Askin to denounce Griffin's speech and for Griffin to publicly apologize.

The Catholic League's website has a scathing article about Griffin's comments with a final paragraph that read as follows:

“Finally, while we are pleased to learn that Griffin’s celebrity stock has plummeted as a result of her scripted speech, we also know that there are some very sick people out there who love it every time some bigot takes a shot at Christianity. To wit: the phone calls and messages we’ve received are proof positive of how visceral the hatred is, much of it aimed directly at the Catholic League. No matter, at the end of the day, Griffin lost and we won.”

According to Griffin's publicist, Griffin's reaction was "Am I the only Catholic left with a sense of humour?"

The joke is really on all of us because Griffin's comments are really a reference to her latest comedy special Everybody Can Suck It. Meanwhile, her fans have launched a new website called suckitjesus.com which includes a petition to stop the sensoring of Griffin's comments.

All of this should make for an interesting new season of My Life On The D-List. I just hope (nee pray) for the day when certain media and religious groups start realizing that some celebrities are simply using them to further their career and they would carry more weight if they started ignoring comments such as Griffin's this past weekend.

CNN smackdown...Michael Moore style

Not since Jon Stewart's appeared on Crossfire in 2004 and told the hosts Tucker Carlson and Paul Begala that they were "hurting america", has someone lambasted CNN on their own channel like Michael Moore did earlier this week.

Moore was appearing on with Wolf Blitzer talking about his new documentary Sicko. Before Moore came on, they showed a segment by Sanjay Gupta who detailed all the inaccuracies in Sicko.

Blitzer than cut to Moore who had a look on his face that said plenty. Moore than went off on Blitzer, CNN and Gupta's report. Despite his heated emotions, he spoke coherently backing up the facts he presents in his movies and demanding Blitzer and CNN not only apologize to him but to the american people as well for their lack of honest coverage regarding both the war and the health care industry.

The entire segment is 15 minutes long but it is pretty entertaining.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpKoN40K7mA

Moore does promise during this interview to post on his website facts to back up all the claims that Gupta criticized. That information has now been posted so check it out on his website.

The Gupta-Moore show has continued throughout the week with them debating each other on Tuesday night's Larry King.

Between this and watching the Live Earth broadcast this past Saturday, I am feeling all left-wingish.

Top 5 Appearances at Live Earth
1. Madonna (yes, I can't believe I am saying it either)
2. Roger Waters
3. The Police
4. Lenny Kravitz
5. Paolo Nutini

Tony Soprano (and David Chase)...you broke my heart

So with tempered expectations, I watched the series finale of The Sopranos.

I realize that this show is one of the most popular in the history of TV. Its groundbreaking nature has revolutionized the industy blah blah blah. But I have never loved it. I've liked it, but it never draws me in enough.

To me the problems with the show range from the oh-so numerous rip offs from The Godfather to the fact that not much really happens. Events occur and you think they will lead to something more dramatic but then they are just ignored. It builds up suspense every season but you never have the major payoffs that you feel should be coming.

Since the finale aired on Sunday night, it has been ripped by the fans and media alike. The only positive article I have seen about the show was the fact it outdrew the NBA playoff game. Even though the game was available in more homes than HBO.

Speaking of HBO, some people in the United States are trying to organize a boycott of that network because of the Sopranos finale. Considering what HBO offers, I don't think that this boycott will go very far.

SPOILER ALERT

Someone emailed me a theory that the ending is actually quite dramatic but subtle. I don't want to give it away for people who haven't seen it but the theory is that Tony actually gets killed in that last scene. Bobby Baccalieri told him earlier in the season something about being killed where he won't hear anything, he won't see anything...but everything will go black. This describes exactly what happened at the end of the show. Not sure I buy that theory...it is a bit of a cop out.

SPOILER ALERT END

For me, I think the ending was vague for one simple reason. Money. Leave it open so they can make a film. Show creator David Chase denies this...but we all know what really makes decisions for film and TV...the almighty dollar.

Though the one nice thing I can say about the final scene from Sunday's episode of The Sopranos was the great use of a Journey song.

Top 5 Journey Songs
1. Feeling That Way
2. Faithfully
3. Don't Stop Believin'
4. Any Way You Want It
5. Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin'

i don't want to be THAT guy

I don't want to be that guy. The BBQ guy. The guy who doesn't let you touch HIS bbq. The guy who obsesses over sauces and rubs. The guy who has a recipie for everything grilled. The guy who wears a BBQ apron and a utility belt filled with salt, pepper, a flipper, skewers and tongs. I can't be that guy. That guy needs a life. However, I am becoming that guy and I am not happy about it. Though, if you ever see me with that utility belt, shoot me.

I am not sure what guy I want to be. It seems, unbeknownst to me that I have become THAT guy who obsesses over golf. On Mondays at work, all of us golfers get together and talk about where we played over the weekend. (I played 4 Seasons in north Pickering, 14 of 18 holes involve water-I don't want to talk about).

But getting back to BBQ, I spent Sunday dealing with how to grill a salmon. Here is what I did. For 20 minutes, I marinated the salmon in half the juice of a lemon, half the juice of an orange and salt and pepper. I then created a rub with 2 tablespoons of brown sugar, 1 tablespoon of red chili pepper flakes, 1 diced clove of garlic and the zest from half an orange. After the marinating is done, I put the rub on, wrapped it in tin foil and put it on the grill. You'd think it would have been too spicey but all the citrus juices prevented it from being overpowering. I highly recommend it. But still, I am not THAT guy.

Top 5 Food Network shows
1. A Cook's Tour
2. Good Eats
3. Licence to Grill
4. The Thirsty Traveller
5. Iron Chef America

The final time I mention Studio 60

Many months ago, when Studio 60 was struggling in the ratings and I was talking about the show on a weekly basis, people were telling me to stuff it. So I agreed to only talk about the show one more time...so here it is.

It's over. Officially. However, NBC is letting the remaining 6 episodes make it to air. It will take over the ER timeslot at 10 pm on Thursday nights starting May 24.

Over the weekend, the Pittsburgh Post-Gazzette had a nice article about the set being torn down along with comments from some of the members of the cast and crew about what went wrong with this criticly praised/audience ignored show.

If you want even more feedback from the series creator Aaron Sorkin about what went wrong, check out this article from the San Francisco Chronicle in February.

So I hope all you fans of crap TV are happy. A well written, albeit flawed show is off the air. More room for reality shows, crappy sitcoms with fat husbands with hot wives and every kind of CSI/Law & Order show that can possibly be produced. Enjoy.

Top 5 Renee Zellwegger films (she did the film Down With Love with studio 60 castmate Sarah Paulsen)
1. Jerry Maguire
2. Bridget Jones's Diary
3. Cinderella Man
4. Chicago
5. Nurse Betty

V stands for a very good sci-fi list

Entertainment Weekly has produced a list of the Top 25 Sci Fi Movies/TV shows of the last 25 years. The list isn't completely obvious as you would expect. Most of the usual candidates are there but there are many surprises as well.

Films like Galaxy Quest can be found along side TV series such as Battlestar Galactica. I won't ruin the surprise but #1 is rather shocking.

The biggest surprise falls right in the #25 slot, the 1983 TV mini-series V. If you are too young to remember, it was about these friendly human looking aliens who came to earth for some chemicals and water for their dying planet. In exchange, they are willing to share some of their technology with the people of earth.

However, an intrepid cameraman (played by Marc Singer) hops aboard one of the alien ships and sees the aliens for what they really are. A bunch of rodent eating, mask wearing lizards bent on the destruction of our planet. The scene with head baddie Diana (played by Jane Badler) eating a giant guinea pig whole took on new meaning when I watched the series again back in the 90s. But that's another story altogether.

V was originally a two part mini-series. A three part follow up mini-series called V: The Final Battle came in 1984. An actual television series followed in 1984-1985. However, lack of budget sank the series rather quickly. In the years following, many rumours have indicated news of a further series for V but nothing concrete is in the offing.

The biggest star to come out of the V series was Robert Englund. Out of respect to him...

Top 5 Nightmare On Elm Street Films
1. A Nightmare On Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors
2. A Nightmare On Elm Street 4: The Dream Master
3. A Nightmare On Elm Street
4. A Nightmare On Elm Street 5: The Dream Child
5. Freddy vs. Jason

Back from the Dead

One of my favourite little known shows of the last 10 years was the 2003-2004 Showtime series Dead Like Me. It starred Mandy Patinkin and Ellen Muth. The series was about this group of dead people who were grim reapers. They had nothing to do with actually killing people. Circumstances killed people, they were simply there to remove their souls and help them get to "the other side".

The group, led by Patinkin, met each morning at Der Waffle Haus. They are each assigned a person that they have to "reap" that day. The show isn't meant to be all that metaphysical, it's more about real people assigned these horrific tasks and how they get by each day. They were all real people who died. They have taken on new appearances as a reaper and can't be recognized as the people they once were.

Top 5 Mandy Patinkin Roles (for Emo)
1. Inigo Montoya (The Princess Bride)
2. Rube Sofer (Dead Like Me)
3. Det. Samuel "George" Francisco (Alien Nation)
4. Jason Gideon (Criminal Minds)
5. Dr. Murray Kaplan (The Doctor)

Anyway, the only reason I bring up this show is the news that the show will be brought back as a made-for-DVD movie in the coming months. That's the good news. The bad news is that Patinkin may be too busy with his current show Criminal Minds to be involved in the production. The other bad news is that the director will be Stephen Herek. Who you say? Well, his best movies were Mr. Holland's Opus and Rock Star (both fairly flawed films) but his resume also includes crap like The Mighty Ducks, Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter Is Dead and Holy Man.

Don Imus = old news

I guess if there is one person "happy" about the recent shooting massacre at Virginia Tech has to be Don Imus. This absolutely horrible tragedy has taken Imus off the front pages and talk radio.

I am not here to minimalize that tragedy but I always find it funny when there is a big story getting wall to wall coverage that all of the sudden becomes ignored when an even bigger story occurs.

The biggest example of this that I can remember occured around the time of 9/11. Do you remember what the big story in the weeks leading up to that event? The disappearance of Chandra Levy and the investigation that seemed to point to congressman Gary Condit having something to do with it. Interviewed by the police on two seperate occasions, the 53 year old Condit denied having an affair with the 23 year old Levy but he finally admitted to it after Levy's aunt went public with the details.

Condit was never officially charged with her disappearance. In May of the next year, Levy's remains were found but the case remains unsolved. Condit lost his next election and has faded from public view. But once the tragedy of 9/11 took hold in the media, Levy's story became secondary.

The same thing is currently occuring with Imus. CNN is wall to wall about Virginia Tech. Victim's names are being released, details on the shooter and the fall out for all US college campuses are being discussed.

But lets not forget about Imus. If you haven't actually seen the footage and only know about the "nappy headed hos" comment. Take a look. Is he trying to be funny?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui1jPNDWArM

As stated in this blog last week. I don't know where I am on this issue. Obviously those comments are horrible. But what do I care about some 70 year old white guy says on a radio show I don't listen to and a tv show I don't watch.

What about Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson weighing in on the issue. Aren't their bigger issues for us in the black community to worry about? What about these athletes talking about how Imus' comments ruined their season and playing the victim in this? Why are they putting so much weight to what this old codger has to say?

And what about journalist Jason Whitlock who is being interviewed by everyone on this topic. He has a lot of powerful things to say about the issue, the black community and how the hip-hop community is to blame for this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CCS7kTLUZM

According to Whitlock about the firing of Imus, "they are sentancing the jaywalker to the death penalty while the real killers are walking free, cashing cheques and writing rap songs." But who is Whitlock? He is a staunch conservative with his own agenda. How can he really be speaking for all African Americans? Before last week, I'd never heard of Jason Whitlock. The irony is that Whitlock is using this event as much to further his career, his agenda just as much as Sharpton and Jackson.

See I write that and I am not sure how strongly I believe it. I heard numerous interviews with Whitlock and I believed a lot of what he said. A lot of what he said really resonated with me. I just think we need to look at all sides. A slo-pitch teammate of mine forwarded Whitlock's now famous article on this topic earlier this week. On first glance, it is a powerful opinion piece. The first paragraph is "Thank you Don Imus. You've given us (black people) an excuse to avoid our real problems". Fascinating stuff. But read the whole piece a second time with a critical eye, keeping his politics in mind, and then how does it read? Are rap moguls like Russell Simmons really to blame? Or is it society in general?

http://www.kansascity.com/182/story/66339.html

Since we are talking about basketball, the top 5 basketball movies.
1. Hoop Dreams
2. Hoosiers
3. He Got Game
4. Blue Chips
5. Celtic Pride

Credit to the opening credits

The website the AV Club has listed the top 22 TV opening credits that best fit their shows perfectly. The page includes links to youtube with the actual sequences so you can see them for yourselves. It's a great list because instead of painfully boring ones like the one for Cheers, they have actual great ones like Dexter (my current favourite) and Homicide: Life On The Street.

Top 5 Opening Credits (not on that list)

1. WKRP in Cincinnati

2. Welcome Back Kotter

3. King Of Kensington

4. The Office (the British version)

5. House

Idol ramblings

So, again, the television industry has forced me to watch American Idol this year. Why do I blame the industry? Because every other single channel is so afraid of putting anything up against the juggernaut that is Idol that if you are watching TV, it is the only thing on. Don't get me wrong, I am not taping it or anything...but if it's on, I watch it.

It is not all that fascinating this year. There are to clear contenders. The first is Melinda Doolittle. Honestly, she is too polished and talented to even be in this glorified karaoke (pronounced care-a-oh-ka not care-a-oh-kee as tolyo lola has told me numerous times) show. Honestly, they should shut down this years contest and just declare her the winner. She is that good. But she is bizarre looking. She either has no neck or some mild osteoporosis that forces her to hunch her head out and make it look like she has no neck. Plus she has this false modesty reaction after she sings like she is shocked by the adulation. Lady, you're a good singer. You know it and I know it. This act is wearing thin.

Her biggest competition is from Lakisha Jones. She is almost as good of a singer as Doolittle without the act. Though her performance of Diamonds Are Forever this week was not great. Anyway, I think these two singers may cancel each other out and pave the way for the person I think will win...Gina Glocksen. She has great rock and roll name and has been choosing songs that best show off her talents. A couple of weeks ago, she chose to sing a Pat Benatar song. But she didn't do the obvious Hit Me With Your Best Shot. She chose Heartbreaker. This song may not be Benatar's most popular which actually helped. Do we really need to hear these 20 somethings sing songs recorded before they were born that the rest of us have already heard a million times?

Top 5 Pat Benatar songs
1. Heartbreaker
2. We Belong
3. Shadows Of The Night
4. Love Is A Battlefield
5. All Fired Up

This Idol season has not been without its interesting characters. The first is Antonella Barba. She did make it relatively far with an average singing voice. But what was really interesting was her backstory. After she first started appearing on Idol, racy pictures of her popped up on the internet. The first were ones were she was simply topless but other pictures soon popped including one where she is performing fellatio. The matter became moot as she was soon kicked off. More likely it was her complete destroyal of Corinne Bailey Rae's Put Another Record On, than it was the pictures.

The other interesting storyline is the ongoing success of Sanjaya Malakar. First off, his hair is ridiculous. It looks like Farrah Fawcett's circa 1978. Secondly, he is a horrible singer. He is currently still among the top 10 and is easily the worst of all the contestants. My sister, who is a huge fan of the show and has always watched it faithfully. Her theory is that each season there is always one person every year that people feel sorry for and they end up staying longer than they should out of sympathy. Other theories are that shock jock Howard Stern is imploring his listeners to continue voting for Malakar. There is also the website Votefortheworst.com. Since 2004 they have picked one weak performer and advised people to continue voting for that person. They do this to make the show entertaining but if you read the "about us" section of their website. They sound a little bitter. But still it is a pretty funny website.

The website I talked about earlier this week the Lefsetz Letter has a pretty funny posting about American Idol.

Speaking of television, if you watched the show How I Met Your Mother this week, you saw the scene just before the credits where Barney does his best David Letterman impression and gives a top 10 list of nicknames for a moving truck he was using to try and pick up women with. The list was pretty funny and a little racy for network tv. What you didn't see is him giving the names that didn't make the top 10 list as they never would have been allowed to be said at 8 pm on Monday night. Here is a link to that extended scene.

Best CBC show ever?

I am not one to compliment the CBC. Their most popular show is Hockey Night In Canada and that says a lot about Canada's national network. There is an ongoing debate about whether a network that is funded by our tax dollars should be spending big bucks on sports is really something that should be happening. But that is a blog entry for another day.

What I want to talk about is a show on CBC called The Hour with George Stroumboulopoulos. I am not really a fan of watching a show hosted by a person younger than me. However, as I get older, this rule is becoming harder and harder to follow.

Stroumboulopoulos has made some interesting career choices. He started at the Toronto sports radio station fan as a board operator who later became on on-air personality. He moved to the alernative radio station called 102.1 The Edge before becoming a VJ on Much Music. His most interesting career choice was hosting a US music reality show called The One: Making A Music Star inbetween his first and second season hosting The Hour. The show's ratings for this wannabe American Idol were horrible and was cancelled after two weeks. The show is considered one of the worst failures in the history of television as its debut show was the second lowest rated pilot in the history of american network TV. The show's failure was probably related to its marketing (a blend of American Idol and Big Brother) and not to the host.

The Hour is now in its third season and airs at 11 pm on CBC as well as earlier on CBC Newsworld. The 11 pm is the more promoted show and goes up against The Daily Show on The Comedy Network. On the show, Stroumboulopoulos interviews everyone from musicians to politicians, actors to writers. Basically each show has enough content to interest everyone. And these aren't people just there to promote a new product. The interviews become lively debates and are quite interesting.

The reason I was moved enough to write a blog about the show was the interview with Bob Lefsetz last week. Lefsetz is probably one of the most fascinating and opinionated music columnists in the world. I highly recommend his website The Lefsetz Letter. His analysis of music is honest, forthright and without pretention. And it isn't all about new music or old music, it is about music in general. He has a lot of interesting theories as to why, for people like me in their thirties can't relate to new music and why a #1 album nowadays is nothing like having a #1 album 10 years ago in terms of sales.

For a taste, here is a column he wrote about why CD sales are tanking or detailing Paul McCartney's new deal with Starbucks. To get a real sense of what Lefsetz is all about, watch the interview Strombo had with him. Lefsetz expounds some interesting theories about the music industry and Strombo does actually begin to argue with him. The interview is only 15 minutes long but you'll wish it were longer.

Top 5 nicknames used for the CBC
1. The Mother Corp. (many people use this term)
2. The Corpse (as used by Frank Magazine)
3. The Canadian Broadcorping Castration (urban legend says an announcer once used this on air but it has never been proven)
4. The Communist Broadcasting Corporation (many conservatives call the network this due to its apparent left wing leanings)
5. BBC Canada (a nickname levied on the network during a 2005 strike in which most of their programming was picked up from the UK).

Raines' Reign

So I spent my Thursday night watching the new Jeff Goldblum show Raines. I thought it was amazing. At first glance, it feels a little Sixth Sense-ish with a dash of Ghost Whisperer. But it's much better than that.

Quirky actor Jeff Goldblum plays a police detective named Michael Raines who is able to talk to the dead victims. However, this is not like a cop version of Ghost Whisperer (whose success continues to confound me). He is able to "talk" to the victims. But seeing these victims is part of his own mental issues. He isn't really able to talk to them, they are a figment of his imagination and are unable to give him any information that he doesn't already know. And, as he learns more about them, they begin to evolve. For instance, in last night's pilot, he later found out that the victim was from Texas. From that point on, the character of the victim started speaking with a texan accent.

The show has a good pedigree with the producer being Graham Yost who previously helmed the underrated and quick cancelled cop drama Boomtown. The pilot itself was directed by Shawshank Redemption writer/director Frank Darabont. Here is an interview with Yost and Goldblum from the website comingsoon.com.

Goldblum seems to be one those you either hate him or love him type actors. My sister absolutely hates him. I honestly used to hate him as well. His one line as an pretentious partygoer talking on the phone with his guru in the film Annie Hall still makes me laugh. He says, "I forgot my mantra". Anytime J-Mac and I are at a party filled with pretentious people I say that line to her. Well, it makes me laugh anyway.

His style of acting where he talks in short sentances with long pauses but speaks each of those sentances really fast always makes me laugh. It has a weird rhythm that takes getting used to but once I saw him in The Lost World: Jurassic Park II I was hooked on him as an actor. The way he reads that line when they first arrive at that second island and everyone starts oohing and ahhing at the dinosaurs. He says "Oh, yeah. Oooh, ahhh, that's how it always starts. Then later there's running and screaming." Best line from any Jurassic Park film.

Top 5 Jeff Goldblum films
1. Invasion Of The Body Snatchers
2. The Fly
3. Deep Cover
4. The Tall Guy
5. Lush Life

So Raines is currently airing in ER's slot on Thursday night at 10 pm for the first two weeks. It will then move to its regular slot of 9 pm on Friday nights. Things aren't looking good for the show as NBC's original order of 13 episodes was shortened to 7 episodes three months before the show debuted but you never know. As a lead in for Law & Order, it could end up doing well.